little universe.

Viscous hours
and vespertine seclusion,
the translucent interspace
between pipe dreams
and gaunt reality.

A tempest of technicolor chaos
and fractured interims
tainted by inkstained
remembrance.

Draw the curtains shut
so the grim streetlight can’t reveal
what I’m asking to ignore.

Close the door behind you
and lock me into an opiate
quarantine of revery,

illusory demesne
of perfect memory.

The gentle surreality
of your phantasmal embrace
can’t transcend
this perilous solitude

nor the mournful sunrise
that brings these
wounds into light.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “little universe.

  1. Probably the best of your poems that I have read.
    Is ‘interspace between’ redundant? To me it reads like ‘the space in between between’, although it’s early and my mind isn’t fully awake yet.
    Also ‘Draw the curtains’ is enough because ‘shut’ is implied in the next line.
    But anyway, yes, probably the best of your poems that I have read.

    Like

    • As ever, I am very grateful for your critical and cogent analysis. I do see what you mean about the redundancy of ‘interspace between’, though I think at the time when I wrote it, that word pairing seemed the best transition to the next line. Your other point makes obvious sense, and I’m very grateful for you to pointing it out. Thank you very much !

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s