soulless

I love your body, your body, your body

and he keeps saying that,
like he’s praising Jesus for your mascara-smudged face
under his hot breath and your pale sweet tits,
and every time he says the first
two-and-a-half syllables
your throat closes hoping he’ll kiss you
quiet and let the letters speak for themselves
While you fuck under a cloud of shisha smoke
still blowing from his mouth in grey blooms
that drift into your hair
and out the window
where the gasping stomata under red-palmed flowers
inhale and sputter on nicotine till the petals shake

funny thing is, he can’t even see
your body, not in 2 am monochrome
but the scar-fabric is stitched
on your hips and stomach and those tits
he won’t shut up about
and you wonder what he’ll say
when the sun jeers through his window,
if he’ll ask why you’re a patchwork of knives
and if he’ll believe you if you say you fell, which is
the honest-to-God truth if you think about it hard.

he’s sleeping now in warm drifts
and you just can’t because don’t
you remember?
a year ago it wasn’t him, this easy talker
with grease on his hair, 5 foot five,
toes at your ankle when you’re mouth to mouth,
proud Pokemon champ of Minnesota
It was him, that glint-eyed lover
and it’s no use pretending they’re the same damn thing
just a body, a body, a body
in yours to know that you’re still around when
you didn’t want to be, not really,

not when the stars are too high
to reach like they told you
and the golden rule is only 16 karats
and there’s no father behind that heavenly sunset
and this night, this night, this night

is everything they warned you it would be.

3/1/15
M. Alden

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5 thoughts on “soulless

    • I hope we both are able to quell those demons and eradicate them. And it seems we may have endured similar things, but they don’t define us. I hope your week is wonderful and bright.

      Liked by 1 person

      • They don’t indeed. The eradication of my demons will leave me hollow. These are demons that make endurance into predatory motivation not just to exist but to live truly and completely.

        Like

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